Engagement, Interviewing and You

Whenever I teach a seminar on job hunting, I am inevitably asked about the wearing of engagement rings while interviewing. Should a girl wear her ring proudly or hide it away? My answer is not vague. Hide it.

As a hiring manager of any gender, the number one priority is to fill a job with a candidate who will do the best job and make the greatest effort on the organization's behalf. In short, you want to get your money's worth. To some managers, there is a real risk with hiring people who are engaged. They will spend hours of work time immersed in their wedding plans, ask for lots of time off right out of the chute, and be generally unfocused on their tasks at hand.

This can happen in even the best organizations.

Some managers will even go so far as to assume that your next task at hand once your Mrs. Happy is to get pregnant and ask for maternity leave. Is this a legal reason for not hiring you? No. Can it still happen? Yes. And it is all but impossible to prove that your engagement was the reason for the snub.

Before you fire off prickly emails, let me say that I personally taught 5 classes, worked as a consultant for a major company, and took comprehensive doctoral exams while planning my wedding, so I know a hard-working person can multi-task while planning the big day.

But the stereotype still persists. And if you are running neck and neck with another candidate, it could be the tipping point that knocks you out of the running. So as proud as you are of your rock and your hubby to be, I'd avoid the ring and the discussion of your nuptials until you are safely hired.

You may need to negotiate your time off for the wedding and honeymoon as part of your hiring agreement, but you don't need to share the reason. You can simply say that you have some unbreakable personal commitments that will take you out of town for the following dates, and will that be acceptable.

Remember, you may feel the desire to be a shining beacon of feminist power, paving the way for brides everywhere, but you also need a job.